


Dreaming Is Free

by iWanttopetyourdog



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But light on the Comfort, F/F, Mentions of Death, Non CF/SS routes, Post-Time Skip, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 18:28:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21257684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iWanttopetyourdog/pseuds/iWanttopetyourdog
Summary: The night before the Empire is to be invaded, Edelgard and Petra fail to find rest: haunted by the past, trying to find comfort in their present, dreaming for a better future.





	Dreaming Is Free

Tomorrow was the most important battle of this war thus far. To face him. To see her. It all would culminate in what may be her final bout, yet here she was, incapable of finding rest despite her best efforts.

Instead she lay awake, kept company by her thoughts and the naked form next to her. Edelgard turned her head slightly to look at the tattooed back of Petra. Her breathing was uneven, undoubtedly the future Queen was kept awake by her own thoughts of tomorrow. 

To refer to her as her lover would be too generous a term for their relationship. What they did at night may be misconstrued as passionate by the untrained eye, but Edelgard could really only describe their trysts as desperate attempts at feeling something other than dread. Edelgard almost felt guilty to be put to bed by the future Queen of Brigid, when she knew that this kind-hearted soul deserved someone who was capable of loving her. Almost. 

She slowly turned onto her side facing away from Petra and released a heavy sigh, trying to settle into her new position. She, however, startled at the feeling of a warm hand on her shoulder. 

“You are having troubles sleeping as well, Edelgard?” Edelgard sat upright and Petra’s hand dropped back to her side as she slowly followed suit. Edelgard brought the sheets up to her chest, as if she were hiding something Petra hadn’t seen many times before. Edelgard stared into the dark of her room, gaze averting Petra’s own inquiring eyes.

“It seems despite our best efforts, I cannot stop thinking about tomorrow.” 

“Neither can I. If we are winning tomorrow, all of our pains... will be worth it.” All of our pains. Edelgard looked towards Petra, illuminated by the moonlight. A sight to behold were it not for the glazed look in her eye, the exhaustion the future Queen of Brigid held in them tainting what otherwise would be a work of art. They hadn’t talked much about their pains, a sort of silent understanding lingered in their interactions. But something about the possible finality of tomorrow urged the question forward. 

“Why did you come to me, all those nights ago?” It fell out of Edelgard’s mouth before she could think better of discussing their feelings. Petra cocked her head slightly.

“You mean…”

“The night we began this.” A look of understanding fell over Petra and concentration began to furrow her brow. The future Queen pulled her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them.

“You are the only person understanding having… the weight of your peoples on your shoulders. I needed reminding of why it is we are fighting. Seeing her face again filled my heart with great sadness. Seeing her on the battlefield... She has grown more beautiful with time, but seeing the sadness in her eyes… my heart was crying for her. I was wishing things were different.” Edelgard nodded. 

The reason she never did feel guilty about their late night meetings was because she knew Petra wasn’t capable of loving her either. But there was no one left for these two to find comfort in, and as each of their friends became picked off the battlefield, the physical comfort they provided each other was slowly becoming all they had left. Love wasn’t fated for them in this lifetime.

“But then I remembered she was the one to kill Ferdinand. I… became mad at myself. Dorothea was choosing her path. I was choosing my people. Yet what kind of ruler... questions striking down the enemy? That is what I was thinking.”

“The kind of ruler who still possesses their humanity. A good ruler.” Petra huffed a mirthless laugh.

“I was not seeing her in five years. Even with information that she had killed some of our own, some of our family, all I was remembering was the kindness she showed me all those years ago. To me it was seeming like foolishness, not… what good rulers do. That is why I went to you. And you showed me comfort.” Edelgard understood almost too well, and perhaps that is why she kissed Petra that night she came knocking on her door. And perhaps that is why Petra accepted it with fervor. To quiet the anger they both had. 

All those years ago, being saved by Byleth struck a chord in Edelgard. The disappointment she couldn’t shake when Byleth decided to instruct a different class was overwhelmed by indescribable urge to still want to know her, to walk alongside her. Something about their fated inevitability seemed to perpetually loom over Edelgard. She longed for a different outcome and every time one of her friends was struck down, struck down due to an order she gave, due to her own cause. Every time her thoughts would spiral, it always trailed back to the stoic figure who lead the other side to victory after victory after victory. 

“So here we are.” 

"Here we are.”

“If you wish to go back to Brigid, you have my blessing-” Petra placed her hand on Edelgard’s forearm.

“I have… told you before, Edelgard. I believe in you and your cause. I have dedicated my life to being your will. The fate of Fodlan and the future of Brigid rest on our shoulders… if we win tomorrow, even if it means to face her, it will have been worth it.” Petra began to settle back into bed, lying on her back as she stared at the ceiling. She took a deep breath before speaking once more. 

“Is it a strange wish, Edelgard, that if I die tomorrow, that it is by her hand? She tried... to make me feel at home in Fódlan. If it is to be... my final resting place, I am thinking that it would be a final act of kindness, to face death by her.” 

“No. It isn’t strange.” The assuredness behind her voice surprised Petra. To have her life taken away by the one who saved it would be a final act of kindness for Edelgard, as well. It was a shame that these two rulers, having more in common than she thought, were really never fated to love one another. It would have been convenient to be with someone who understood her so well. 

“I am... glad to hear that.” 

Do you ever wonder how things would be different, if the Professor joined my side instead? The question danced at the tip of her tongue, but did not venture outside of her thoughts. It was a question she replayed over and over when she was alone, the answers always gleaming in comparison to the stark reality of deaths that trailed behind her. Deaths that would be rendered pointless if she were to be defeated tomorrow. 

“We really should try to get rest now, Petra. Tomorrow is too important for any mistakes to occur due to something as insubstantial as lacking sleep.” 

“Please come to me then, Edelgard.” She offered her arms to the Emperor. Edelgard gradually made her way to Petra, pulling the duvet over the both of them as she settled in Petra’s arms. The pang of loneliness urged her to wrap her arms around her most skilled assassin. Her Will. 

They both eventually fell asleep holding on to one another, desperately dreaming for a better future. 

**Author's Note:**

> Genuinely thought long and hard about this dynamic and if they could ever be together in a Crimson Flower context, but my brain just kept going in this direction. Even in a Petragard fic I'm a Doropetra stan oops. So thanks for reading my angst!


End file.
